Jealous

I'm so jealous of the cat that I freak out if you pet her, nudge you if you look in her direction, and I squeak if you say her name!

Calculus

I haven't done my Calc homework all semester and now I'm making her ( -----> ) do it for me so I can graduate.

Bags

I climb in bags then fall off of the counter.

StL

I'm from StL.
I do what I want, when I want.
Don't f*** w/ me.

Hair bands

I eat my mom's hair bands and they give me dingle berries.

Fluff

I like to chew up my babies and rip out all of their insides.

Bananas

I went to the store & bought bananas...dressed as a banana.